Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Oh Canada

Here's one for our friends to the north. BTW if Boosh or any other of his toadies cross the border, you have our permission to arrest them for war crimes.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Looking up

It's done. This was colored in the new Painter 11. I love this app. I can use any media, paper etc and I never have to put on my little blue smock so I won't get my good school clothes messy. Eat it Bob Ross!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Pubic Service Message

To help do my part in boosting morale across the nation, I am doing this cover for HH. We've turned the corner and good times are up ahead. Keep your chin up and your eye on the prize.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Monday, March 23, 2009

The Butt Fam

When was the last time you told your family you love them? If you haven't lately then you should send them a nice card. Preferably a Dan Collins card from Nobleworks or American Greetings. I sent my family one of these but I haven't heard back from them yet. I hope nothing's wrong. They can be buttheads at times.

Friday, March 20, 2009

No Bonus Billo

Sorry Bill, you're dragging down the network with your feud with Olbermann and Glennie Beck is doing so much better than you, so this year you don't get a bonus.
Anybody ever see the movie Scanners?
This is a frame from a strip I am drawing called the O'Reilly Sphincter. I only mention that because there was a sphincter in the news yesterday. More than one if you want to be technical but the word was used on the house floor by Steve La Tourette. It made all the papers. What's left anyway.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

World's Lamest Library

I'll bet there is a whole section with autographed My Pet Goat books.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Some people just don't learn

Apparently Lord Vader is still lurking around trying to see what sort of trouble he can kick up. He is still laboring under the delusion that he has any capital left in this world. He shouldn't have had any in his no.2 spot to begin with except for what Sergeant Boosh abrogated to him by default. Now he has absolutely none but for what he is imagining. Is there any sane person in this hemisphere who gives a frying frick what he has to say now? We are rid of you Dick. So just retract your bulbous pink head into your fly and zip it!

Ah, that felt good to say.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Think fast!

I think we should all keep on our toes. We tend to let our guard down, get complacent and then wham! Someone takes advantage of us. We get used to an easy life. We take things for granted. Then the economy tanks, we lose our savings or an elected president drags us into a pointless war, lets the bankers get away with anything and then the economy tanks. Again. If only we had been paying attention and not let a bunch of people shouting at the top of their lungs convince us that it was alright. If we had kept our instincts sharp we would have seen this coming. Maybe what we need is someone cracking a whip on our butts when we least expect it. Like Inspector Clouseau and Kato. I mean the original ones, not that Steve Martin crap.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Support your local cartoonist

Merchants, when you can, use a local cartoonist for your advertisement needs and help support the cartoon arts in your area. And pay them a living wage. They work and train hard and deserve the respect any other professional tradesman would receive. Computers and software are today's tools for cartoonists and cost a pretty penny. They require an extensive investment in money and time to master. Just because we deal in funny things doesn't mean you shouldn't take us seriously as artizans. A well drawn cartoon can bring profitability in it's appeal with the consumer who identifies your product with an amusing image. Funny business is serious stuff.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Fox Snooze

Did anyone else see Victoria Jackson on the Mannity's show calling Barack a commie and saying that Fox News tells the truth? Finally VJ's brain has caught up with her voice, though it probably was there from the beginning. I have gotten more and more incredulous at the outright lies I have been hearing from assorted conservatives on TV every day. They throw out all manner of fabrications all qualified by "I believe" and "I think" while flying in the face of documented fact. It doesn't matter what evidence is there, it means nothing to these vacant skulls. I just hope is doesn't take too long before the programmers wise up and stop giving platforms for this misinformation from sociopaths. I know it makes for exciting television but come on, let's start acting responsibly. TV news is not supposed to be a circus. Even though I would love to see Billo in the center ring, stick his head into a lion's mouth. You better believe I will be in the front row with my handy pea-shooter. I just want to make the show REALLY exciting. Change that to the 'No Head Zone'.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Flush Rush

Why is this blowhard still given credence? Why would any sane person pay him more than two bits for his poisonous spittle? People who listen to his garbage ought to submit themselves to a brain scan because there obviously is some kind of serious chromosomal damage going on there. It boggles the mind that flush, coulter, hannity etc play any part in the national debate. It's no wonder that this country is in the shape it's in with lunatics like these being listened to by a segment of society any larger than a schizophrenia self help group.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Luck of the draw

Just a random cartoon from the archive. Probably should have run it on president's day but what the heck.

Monday, March 9, 2009

The party's over

Is this cartoon a metaphor for the last eight years? Yes it is. America feels like a dumb blonde who lost her undies somewhere between the corsage and 'Good night."

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Liberty's Love Affair

I have drawn A LOT of Ms Liberty toons. You could say I have a thing for her. She has a thing for BO right now.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Fish for Friday

It's warm today! When it gets warm, thoughts turn to fishing. There is nothing in the world that gives me greater joy than to be on the water. The wind in your hair, the job at your back and a day open to all possibilities. It's March and spring is drawing near. We've made it through almost the whole winter. The snows and blizzards and deadly cold are giving way to a new season of green grass and flowers. Time to get out the old reels and start cleaning and lubricating them in anticipation of giant bass! Here's hoping last year's drought doesn't happen again. Kinda killed the fishing and definitely killed getting your boat into the water when the launch is high and dry. But hope springs eternal in the mind of a fisherman.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

There's a remote chance this could happen to you.

Since Wednesday's cartoon wasn't very naughty, I offer this vision of matrimonial discordance. There are plenty of cartoons out there about having something shoved up your butt but this takes it to the next step when he has go to have the offending object removed. You can usually take a cartoon to the next step, I've found. I don't think this is covered on my health insurance plan so I am not forcing the issue with my dear wife.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Bad dog

posted 12:30 EST Wednesday

The russians are coming or are they?

After saying they have to have the cartoon by the next day, I have no further word from Snob. Being as they are on the opposite side of the world and when I am asleep they are working, I figured I would have an email waiting this morning. No dice. Oh well, easy come, easy go. It's always dicey messing with publications overseas. You have to get the money up front or you will never see it. Johnny Ryan sold a book to some publishing house in Denmark or the Netherlands or somewhere and they published it and never paid him a thing. I don't doubt for a minute that the Russians would stiff me in a heartbeat. How would I ever collect from them after the fact? There are pirates out there on the high seas of international cartooning! S'mallians!

Here's the cartoon they wanted. This was done for the Delaware Gazette in '96. A couple of years later Koren did the exact same thing for the New Yorker and then later it appeared in One Big Happy. There is practically no way those other artists saw it and then copied it from mine but I take comfort in the fact that I came up with it first.

Monday, March 2, 2009

To Russia with love

I got an email this morning from someone claiming to be with Snob magazine in Russia. They wish to publish a cartoon from my website! Is that not cool? I am somewhat well known overseas it seems. They have a more relaxed sense of propriety over there and know how to laugh at a naughty joke. I have a fan cub in the Czech Republic who play with one cartoon I did years ago, photoshopping the star of it into lots of news photos. It's a guy in a green jacket telling an old joke. They have a web message board called 'The Joker In Green" or Cterak V Zelenum, in Czech-ese. It's kind of nice having my own cult. If only their charge cards could work on my site. Oh well, here's the Jokertoon as it appeared in Hustler magazine in the mid 80's.